♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ There were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough to get them far away
♫ Do do do
- [Lockie Narrating] I'm on that bus,
somewhere between the city and Angelus
and it's hot on the bus
and smelly
and by smelly, I mean the worst thing
you could ever, ever imagine.
A stink so hideously bad,
so horrifyingly horrible,
the aroma of Old Squash's socks was like roses
in comparison.
It made the greenie-brown stuff in Blob's nappy
seem like pistachio ice cream.
Even the pawn of Phillip's latest experiment
had nothing on what was in the bus that day.
The source of that smell,
the origin of the stink to end all stinks
was unfortunately coming from me.
Yeah, it was one of those days when
the collective bowels of the animal kingdom
conspired against me.
(ominous music)
- You, off the bus.
- [Lockie Narrating] But what really stinks is
now matter how much you think you have your future sussed,
there's always some random act
that comes along to stuff everything up.
(bus passengers cheer)
Like bus drivers with overly sensitive noses
or girlfriends
or comets.
Okay, rewind.
It all started when Phillip had found out
his friend Marjorie was preparing for a final journey.
- Phillip, Marjorie's--
- [Lockie Narrating] Trouble is,
he didn't want her to leave.
- Strange, he was here a moment ago.
Phillip, you in there?
- Phillip's not here at the moment.
If you'd like to leave a message,
you may do so after the beep, beep.
- Phillip, it's Marge.
I just want to let you know that I've double checked
and my original calculations were right.
The comet is here
and it should be on view about this time tomorrow evening,
cause for celebration I would have thought.
- Beep, end of message.
- [Lockie Narrating] It wasn't the only avoidance behaviour
happening around Angelus that day.
- Egg's not here, Lockie.
You just missed him.
- We were supposed to go fishing this afternoon.
We organised it yesterday.
- He didn't mention anything about a fishing trip.
- Right.
Well, if he comes back soon,
tell him I'll see him down the jetty.
- No worries.
- [All] Scout, Scout, Scout, Scout!
(group cheers)
- [Lockie Narrating] Somehow, somewhere along the line,
the future decided it was time
I lost my best friend to Curtis.
(sad music)
How did that happen?
Why didn't I see that coming?
I figured Vicki would have an answer
and even if she didn't,
it was a nice excuse to catch up.
But Vicki was not available.
I guess the school's internet was down again.
- Well, maybe you're just no fun anymore, Lockie.
Have you considered that?
You know, Egg's staying away from you for a reason.
It's time we all moved on.
Us, it, it's so last year.
- But why can't things just stay how they were?
Why do they have to change?
I wasn't the only one who wanted to turn back time.
(rock music)
- I must need a sleep, I dozed off.
When I woke up, I found this.
- I smell crime.
- Let's not jump the gun, Constable Waddle.
- Do you know of anyone who might have reason
to deny you access to the observatory?
- No.
No one.
- Whoever it is can't spell prohibited.
- [Constable Waddle] Sarge, I got something.
- Dust it for prints.
(rock music)
- Sarge, Sarge, what's going on?
- I need to speak to Phillip on a police matter.
- [Constable Waddle] I smell guilt.
- Phillip, spell prohibited.
- P-R-O-H-I-B-A-T-E-D.
- I, not a.
(Phillip snaps his fingers)
- I'm a man of science, not letters.
- Empty out your pockets.
- You don't have to do anything without a lawyer present.
- Joy, don't make this any harder than it needs to be.
- It's okay, Mom.
- That's it.
(rock music)
Phillip Leonard,
did you willfully seek to bar Marjorie Beaumont
rightful access to her observatory
using physical means, including police issue tape
and the padlock I'm holding in front of me?
- You don't have to answer that.
- Yes.
- Can I ask you why you did this?
It's my understanding that there is a comet
approaching Angelus.
Is it also true that once this comet is sighted,
a certain local astronomer, namely Marjorie Beaumont,
will leave this life for good,
having completed her last work?
- Yes.
- I would like to warn the prosecution,
that if he doesn't let me client off with a warning,
well he can jolly well fix his own dinner.
- I think this case requires further contemplation.
I would like some one on one time with the offender.
See the sand, Phillip?
See how some grains of sand get washed up?
Some get washed away?
Some just stay where they are,
then a wave comes and the whole process
happens all over again?
- What's your point?
- My point is,
life is always changing.
Nothing stays the same forever.
- Well, that's not fair.
- Just because Marjorie's leaving Angelus
doesn't mean she's leaving us forever.
You'll meet again,
in some form or other.
- I think the word you're
searching for is reincarnation, Sarge.
The juries still out on that concept.
Say Marjorie turns into a dolphin
or a saber-toothed tiger?
That's not much use to me,
I can't speak either language.
- Unless you're a dolphin or saber-toothed tiger
when you meet again.
- (sighs) Like I said,
juries still out.
- Let me try again.
Let me call on the power of rejuvenating verse.
Evolution by Langdon Smith.
"When you were a tadpole and I was a fish,
"in the Palaeozoic time,
"side by side on the ebbing tide."
(sad music)
- Sorry for padlocking your observatory.
- Don't be sorry, I understand.
You're upset because I'm leaving.
- Why does it have to be so soon?
Why can't it be next week or next month,
or next year?
- That comet has my name on it.
It's taking me on my next journey
and I couldn't miss it even if I wanted to.
Dear boy, we will meet again.
- That's what the Sarge reckons.
- Wise man, your dad, worth listening to.
Before I go, why don't we have a picnic together?
Let's make a real splash of it.
- Don't expect me to be in a real party mood.
- I really need a rest.
You better get going home.
- I want to stay with you.
- Phillip, I need my rest,
to get ready for the party.
- What should I bring?
- Just yourself
and if you happen to have a wheel of Roquefort cheese,
bring that along as well.
- Roque what?
- It's a fine, French blue cheese
with delicate character and piquancy.
I've only ever tasted it once
and I'll never forget it.
I'd love to taste that cheese just one more time
before I shuffle off.
(playful music)
(sheep bleats)
- Phillip, what are you doing?
- I need to use milk, a litre of it.
- You're gonna have trouble getting it from Sirrel,
he's a boy sheep.
(sheep bleats)
You okay?
Why do you need to use milk?
- You wouldn't understand.
- Try me.
- Marjorie needs Roquefort.
- What, rocket fuel?
- No, Roquefort.
It's a fancy French cheese, Marjorie's favourite.
- Oh.
- This is a total disaster.
The comet's going to come
and Marjorie's going to go
and I won't be able to give her any Roquefort
to help on her final journey.
- Why not buy some?
- Great idea, Lockie, not.
I've only been to every single shop in Angelus
and not one of them sells Roquefort.
I'm not ready to let her go, Lockie.
I'm not sure I'll ever be,
but she's going anyway
and I can't even give her a proper sendoff.
(playful music)
I don't think this is a good idea.
- Egg's caught the bus to the city
on his own heaps of times.
- Yeah with the Rev's permission
and his mum waiting for him at the other end.
- Trust me, I'll be fine.
I'll just get the cheese
and I'll hop straight on the return bus.
- Why are you doing this?
- Cause you're my brother.
I want to help you out.
Do I need another reason?
(triumphant music)
(poop squishes)
(triumphant music)
(bird squawks)
How much for that wedge of Roquefort?
- Roquefort.
- Right, Roquefort.
- $74.
- That one there?
- Cheaper, 36.80.
- That's crazy, I don't have that kind of money.
Wait, wait,
how much can I get for this?
- Out.
- [Lockie Narrating] Luckily,
Phillip was working on a backup plan.
(playful music)
He wasn't letting a lack of proper ingredients
get in his way.
- Roque what?
- It's Croquefort.
- No, it's Roquefort.
R- O-Q-U-E-F-O-R-T.
- Whatever it is, it's alive.
Look, it's moving.
- It's a live culture.
- It's a little too alive for my liking.
You sure this thing's safe, Phillip?
- I bet my life on it.
(cheese bubbles)
(triumphant music)
- [Lockie Narrating] And then I had a brainwave.
Since I was in the city,
why not pay Vicki a visit?
Okay, so maybe that had been my plan all along
and maybe I wasn't here to find
some smelly old French cheese,
but it's not like I hadn't given it a shot.
A real good shot.
Suddenly, there she was, Vicki Street.
What a vision of loveliness.
This is weird
but I guess there's probably loads of reasons
why there's a bunch of boys playing footy
in an all girls ladies college.
They're probably poor boys
from underprivileged backgrounds
whose schools are without facilities
like footie ovals.
There she is, being nice and supportive
to one of the underprivileged boys.
That's Vicki all over.
Suddenly, the idea of meeting up with Vicki
and her newfound friends,
smelling like I did,
seemed like a pretty dumb idea.
- Lockie Leonard?
- So I did the only sensible thing I could do.
(metal thuds)
(Sighs) Vicki.
What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here is here more of the question.
- What was the answer?
- Joshua Punt, meet Lockie Leonard.
- Hi, how are you doing?
- Right now, not so good.
- You don't smell so good either.
- You know, there's a shower you can use.
I can lend you some clothes.
- [Lockie Narrating] Vicki's friend was so nice.
I took an immediate dislike to him.
- Thanks but,
I need to go.
- Go?
But you only just got here.
- I just wanted to say hello,
so hello.
- What about something to eat
before you go?
- Thanks Josh, but I'm fine.
- Anyway,
all I have is some smelly old Roquefort.
(bell dings)
- Actually, I might take some of that if it's okay,
for my trip home.
- Do you know the myth behind the Roquefort, Lockie?
- There's a myth about a cheese?
- Roquefort is made in France in caves
and legend has it that once upon a time,
there was this shepherd who was having some cheese
in his cave when he spies this beautiful young girl
traipsing through the fields.
(magical harp music)
He was so taken by her beauty
that he dropped his cheese to the floor
and ran out after her
and when he returned,
he found that his cheese had gotten all mouldy,
but he took a bite anyway, he was that hungry,
and the taste they say,
is the taste of heaven.
- So he got the cheese
but did he get the girl?
- He got both and they lived happily ever after.
- So, you've been hard to get hold of.
I kept getting this message you're not available.
- I've been snowed under with my studies.
Josh and I have been building a model of a greenhouse
for environmental science.
- You and Josh?
- We're study buddies
and his house is totally organic and sustainable
and helps global warming and world peace.
- You guys make a good team.
- Josh is totally focused on his future.
He's gonna be an environmental lawyer.
- Clever Josh.
- He is really clever.
He's got a 25 year plan worked out for his future,
he knows exactly where he's gonna be at every point.
- 25 years?
- I'm working on my own 25 year plan.
- Right, I still have trouble knowing
what I'm doing tomorrow.
- But you've given some thought to your future,
like what you're gonna do when you leave school?
- Surf?
- Same old Lockie Leonard.
- [Lockie Narrating] Vicki was disappointed.
I should have said something
like brain surgeon or something,
but I don't think she would've believed me,
and besides, I told enough lies that day.
- So I guess this is goodbye then.
- Really, goodbye?
- Well, haven't you got a bus to catch?
- Oh yeah, I guess.
- So.
- So?
- Goodbye Lockie.
- Bye Vicki.
It all felt very final.
Normally I get a bye or maybe I'll see you
but this was the full-on formal version, goodbye.
(birds squawk)
(ominous music)
Yep, today was one of those days
that just went from bad to worse.
(ominous music)
(bird poop splats)
(birds squawk)
- Lockie's at Egg's, Lockie's at Egg's,
Lockie's at Egg's, Lockie's at Egg's.
- Phillip, where's Lockie?
- Lockie's gone to the city.
(bus passengers cheer)
- [Lockie Narrating] So here I am, back where we started,
somewhere between the city and Angelus
and completely lost.
- Absconding without parental permission.
Lying.
Conspiracy to induce others to lie on your behalf.
Offences under the Olfactory Act.
- Sorry, Sarge, won't happen again.
- Anything else to report?
- I just had one of those days that goes
from bad to terrible.
- The thing is Lockie, without a bad day,
how are you ever going to be able to measure a good one?
You see, life is mostly in the middle,
not too many highs, not too many lows,
so you should be grateful you had
such an unmitigatedly terrible day.
It means a great day is just around the corner.
- Yeah, well, I'm due a corker.
- [Sarge] What happened?
- Egg has a new friend
and I think Vicki and I broke up.
- Ouch, the double header.
What did she say?
- Goodbye.
It was the way she said it,
that and the fact she's got her whole life planned out
and I don't fit into any of it.
- Her whole life mapped out, you say?
- 25 years.
- So the thing about the future, Lock,
you can't plan everything.
It happens, it just happens.
- [Lockie Narrating] If Sarge was right,
the future was going to come along
whether I liked it or not.
Maybe Vicki and I were in that future together
or maybe we weren't,
but no 25 year plan or worrying about it
was going to change anything.
- Thanks, Lock.
Marjorie will be chuffed.
What if I never make a friend like her again?
I'm going to live for a long time.
I could have a very lonely future ahead of me.
- There's no point in worrying about the future, Phillip.
The thing about the future,
it happens, it just happens.
- I like it, is it one of yours?
- It is now.
- Thanks, Lockie.
And Lock?
You're the best brother on the planet.
(sentimental piano music)
- It's disgusting.
I can't believe you actually like it.
- Oh, it tastes like heaven.
Heaven on Earth.
- I've got another surprise.
I think you'll like it.
Evolution by Langdon Smith.
"When you were a tadpole and I was a fish
"in the Paleozoic time, side by side,
"on the ebbing tide, we sprawled through
"the ooze and slime.
"Or skittered with many a caudal flip,
"through the Cambrian fen,
"my heart was rife with the joy of life.
"I loved you, even then.
"Mindless we lived, mindless we loved,
"Mindless, at last we died.
"And deep in the rift of the Caradoc drift,
"we slumbered, side by side.
"The world turned on in the lathe of time,
"the hot lands heaved amain,
"till we caught our breath from the womb of death
"and crept into life again.
"Our love is old, our lives are old,
"and death shall come amain,
"should it come today, what man may say,
"we shall not live again."
- Such a wonderful poem.
Such beautiful words
and despite everything,
love, true friendship,
it will never die.
It will never die.
- Yeah, it's a good one.
- Oh, dear boy, come here.
Oh.
♫ Over the airwaves tonight
♫ Sailing by love's lowly light
♫ Well, isn't it blue
- [Lockie Narrating] Several days later,
after finally letting go,
Marjorie rode her comet back to the stars.
♫ Asleep in perfection
- There it goes now,
almost out of sight.
- You get naming rights if you're
the one to discover a comet, asteroidy thingy, don't you?
- Yes, Lockie.
I get naming rights.
- So what are you going to call it?
- Well, it's a she for starters,
so what do you reckon?
♫ Directed to you
♫ Yeah, yeah, yeah
(rock music)
♫ Boy is breaking underneath their way of life
♫ Oh, oh
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ Worlds away from anyone
♫ They were burning themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough to get them far away